Pests!

Earlier in the summer, when all the crazy summer rains began, we had customers flocking to our anti-mosquito section. We couldn't even keep most of the stuff in stock, it was going so quickly. OFF sprays and citronella candles and bug zappers and citronella oils to go in lamps and mosquito dunks, oh!, the mosquito dunks! On Mondays (freight day) I'd have customers come in and demand I go through all the bins of freight just so they could get first dibs on the dunks. The two-packs were good but the six packs were better!

As you might imagine, we are still selling a lot of mosquito stuff, but right now the huge thing is flies. Flies are absolutely everywhere! The little sneaky small ones that buzz around your ears and drive you crazy but are so fast you hardly see 'em, and the big fat ones that seem to haunt your every move and stare you down with their big fat gross fly eyes. It's times like this that lots of people fly-hunt recreationally- we stroll leisurely around with a flyswatter in hand just looking for targets. And yes, I include myself in this category. Much like a paranoid ex-cop with his gun always near-by, oiled and ready for action, I have a pink and white flyswatter hidden by the cash register and unlike the gun enthusiast, I don't even have to switch the safety on and off!

Just last week I was eating lunch with my dad in the break room and we were joined by my Aunt Sonja and Uncle Jeff- my aunt was eating but my uncle wasn't. He sat back in his plastic lawn chair at the break table with a flyswatter clutched firmly in his hand, eyes cast upwards following the two or three little black winged demons as they buzzed around and occasionally dive-bombed the table. Every so often he would abruptly stand and slice the swatter through the air at a little buzzy target, without much success. After a while he sat down, shoulders slumped in defeat, looking at the swatter in his hand with dislike.

"I have the wrong weapon," he told us. "What I really need is my shotgun."

If you are really having trouble with pests we have something on the Rental side of the ACE store called The Ortho Problem Solver- America's Definitive Reference Book that I highly recommend. Tucked behind several shelves of fertilizer and Miracle Gro products and facing a shelf of lawn ornaments (like statues of the Virgin Mary and bobble head frogs) is a sort of altar with this humongous reference book on it. It is close to 1000 pages and is filled with photos of creepy bugs and descriptions and advice and pictures of rotting plants. I try to visit the altar and read a bit of the book everyday, usually right after I water the barrels of plants in front of the store because after lugging gallons and gallons of water I'm hot and cranky and the altar is right underneath a swamp cooler vent.

Pestwise, I personally have been having my issues with scorpions. I saw (and killed!) three scorpions in a period of two weeks. According to The Ortho Problem Solver- America's Definitive Reference Book, though scorpions are most often found outside under rocks etc, the will sometimes venture indoors when the weather gets really hot. Which it has. The Ortho Problem Solver- America's Definitive Reference Book also said that these scorpions are really pretty shy and mean no harm and just sting when threatened, and most times their stings are no more severe than a bee sting- really not dangerous unless you're allergic. So, basically, The Ortho Problem Solver- America's Definitive Reference Book told me to grow up and stop being such a wimp. Thanks, The Ortho Problem Solver- America's Definitive Reference Book.


On a more personal note, I am taking this semester off of school. I'm working at ACE (obviously...) instead of school and I'm really trying to focus on writing. I love writing and I think I'm pretty good at it and if you're reading this you either like what you read or are family and have no choice. Either way, I hope you'll stick with me. I'm going to try to write more and more blogs, even if they're not very good. I just need to get in the habit of writing more.

Thank you!!

Sarah

Your Very Own Guide to Raton, NM!

I am fortunate enough to have been born in the cultural hotspot of Raton, America, and I felt it's time to share with those not so fortunate. Below I have compiled a small list of terms, locations, and activities common here in the Land of Enchantment.

You're welcome in advance.


BEAR BAIT- Local term. A not-so endearing term for the massive amounts of Boy Scouts who come through Raton every summer on their way to Philmont Scout Ranch.

CHAY (also SHAY)- Local vernacular. Not to be confused with "E". The word "chay" is usually used as an exclamation of surprise, awe, astonishment, or shock. In some cases, the word is drawn out extensively: "Chaaaayyyyyyyy". This usually indicates a larger amount of surprise, awe, etc.

CHUPACABRA- Local legend. Or is it? True, the Chupacabra is not just limited to New Mexico, but it is well known here. Every so often the NM news channels will do stories on the Chupacabra, and they are always a funny mix of the newscasters shooting holes in the story and irate farmers complaining about the damn things eating their goats.

CRUISING- Common local activity. Mostly a social activity, "cruising" is the activity of driving up and down Raton's 2nd Street with friends, blasting loud music and wasting finite natural resources.

DAIRY QUEEN ICE CREAM CONE- Infamous local landmark. Located in front of Raton's Dairy Queen establishment, there is a humongous replica of an ice cream cone. Just about every six year old who has seen it has licked it, Raton citizens included.

E- Local vernacular. Not to be confused with "chay". "E" (pronounced like it looks) is generally an exclamation of chagrin, annoyance, frustration, or exasperation. Often drawn out, "Eeeeeeeeeeee" sometimes comes out as an irritated sigh.

FIREBALLS, THE- The Fireballs are one of Raton's few claim-to-fames. The band formed in the 1950's and is known for the hit, "Sugar Shack".

GARDNER ROAD- Infamous local landmark. Gardner Road is a small road on the outskirts of Raton, not heavily trafficked. Mostly used by locals as a place to drink, get high, have sex, and/or hunt for trolls.

OMBERS- Local vernacular. Pronounced "awwm-burs". All but extinct, this word was the precursor to "chay", and is therefore noteworthy. Mostly used by elementary school children. As with "chay" and "E", "ombers" was sometimes drawn out.

PO-PO- Local vernacular. Term for the police, of course. I actually made a joke out of it: What does Santa Claus say when he sees the police? Po-po-po!

POLICE REPORT- Local news. Played on the radio, it's a list of alleged criminals and their crimes. Almost always good for a laugh, since it's such a small town. It's always great when someone you don't like gets a speeding ticket or something.

RATON- Place. Located in the Northeast corner of New Mexico, this gem of a town was once called "Willow Springs" but is now called Raton. No one is exactly sure why. For the record, pronounced correctly it would be something like "Ruh-tone" but we locals pronounce it "Rat-own".

TROLL- Local legend. Out on Gardner Road (see above), there is a bridge that, legend has it, is home to a flesh-eating troll. Locals will sometimes dare each other to go troll-hunting at night. As far as I'm aware, the troll has never been sighted, but when you go under the bridge in the daylight, there are bones down there. Maybe not such a legend after all...

WALMART (as in, "Let's go to Walmart!")- Location/Activity. Superior to KMart because of its location and 24 hour operation, locals like to go there a lot. It's an excuse to go to Trinidad where there are lots of different restaurants and whether you buy anything or not, there's always something to do. NOTE: Playing hide and seek there is frowned upon...


Have you contacted your travel agent yet? :)

Sarah