Years later, I now can claim "cashier" and "Green House employee" and, well, "Inventory Specialist." But one of my biggest jobs now is doing books in the back office. I really like working back there! It's warm in the winter and cool in the summer. It's hushed and crowded with shelving units and computers and printers and files, files, files! The overhead fluorescent lighting provides a constant, soothing hum.
My computer and station is at the back end of the room, in a corner. I won't bore you with what I do, but suffice it to say it's a lot of counting. My high school age, math-hating self kind of does a ugly laugh/cry when I realize I'm making my living by doing... math.
But I have to say, the most interesting aspect of my job back there is the fact that I share a wall with the ladies' restroom and the wall is thin... very thin. Comically, weirdly thin. One day I went to work sick, ran to the bathroom to puke my guts up, and returned to the office where I was told flatly, "You're sick. You've been hurling in the bathroom. We heard you. Go home."
I have compiled a short list of things heard-- OVER HEARD- in the ACE ladies' restroom.
- Grunts, groans, plops, and tinkling. This one is obvious and to be expected! Still, it's kind of an intimate thing, and when they're really trying hard you have to fight the urge to knock on the wall and yell, "FIBER!!"
- Woofing and howling. We allow dogs of all sizes in the store, as long as they're well behaved. And I guess if you bring your dog in with you, they go in the restroom with you, should that situation arise. It was just weird because there was this dog in the bathroom just CRYING and YIPPING and making a scene, and whoever the owner was, they kept oddly quiet. There were no hushes or calming, soothing words. Just a toilet flush and they were gone.
- "YOU PROMISED!!" This one was interesting. From my eavesdropping, I deduced that there was a mother and 6-ish-age daughter in the bathroom together. It would appear the kid was sitting on the toilet with unfavorable results. The mother hissed, "You promised! You. Promised" to which the kid started sobbing, "No, Mommy, YOU PROMISED, YOU did!" Glad to stay out of that one.
- Slamming door. This happens quite frequently, but you can get a good idea of the hurry they are in by the slam of the door. When you gotta go, you gotta go, door locks be damned!
- "Please, God, please." This one caught my attention right away because it was undeniably a man's voice and he was WORKING. Frustrated grunts and mini, pained yelps. But throughout it all he kept praying to God. I hope it helped.
- Tongues. Probably the weirdest overhearing-experience was ANOTHER man. There were no tell-tale sounds of plumbing like toilet flushing or sinks being turned on. He just hung out in the bathroom and chanted. It was absolutely unlike anything I'd heard before. Not English, Spanish, French, Russian, Mandarin, Pig Latin! It was harsh and guttural and had kind of a musical quality to it. He was just... speaking in tongues. And then he peed.
Sorry for the bathroom humor!
I'm really getting back into writing projects and I think blogs are like exercise for my mind. You may see more of them!
Sarah
