My Letter to Santa

Christmas Eve, 2012



Dear, dear, DEAR Santa Claus:

I realize I'm a little late with this, but I figure by now you must be tech-savvy enough to have an Internet-capable cell phone and you probably get bored while flying over oceans and large stretches of bare land so I figured I'd give it a shot anyway.

I admit that a few weeks ago I wrote a short list of materialistic items and gave it to desperate family members who had no idea what to give me for Christmas and, to be honest, I expect to get quite a bit of it tomorrow. So for you, Santa, I have compiled the following list of items not so easily given- things I want desperately but that cannot be purchased at Walmart or Amazon.com.

The list is as follows:

• Excellent health for me, especially when it comes to my stomach. If it's not asking too much, Santa, I would very much like to never experience nausea and/or stomach pain again
• Excellent health for my loved ones, namely relief from arthritis and a painful knee replacement
• The invention of a new kind of hair dye- the ones I buy always say "permanent" on the box, but it's not true. In fact, it would be awesome if it could just come out of my head the colors I desire- I love my colorful hair but sometimes I get really tired of dyeing it
• In the coming year, I would love to get a whole lot of snow and rain and any kind of moisture- anything to prevent fires
• I would love a vitamin that I could take that would naturally make me better at math. That and a vaccine against procrastination
• I would like a little help with not being so clumsy- that way maybe I could quit dropping my phone and stop getting mysterious bruises and not rip half my finger nails off
• I'd like a car that never needs to be refueled with gasoline and a printer that never needs new ink cartridges and a camera that never needs to be recharged
• I'd like for me and all of my loved ones to have a great year in 2013, in New Mexico, Colorado, Oklahoma and West Virginia 

Of course, I know how this whole thing works- you only get what you want if you've been good all year. Well, I can't honestly swear to that...

• I've been a pretty law-abiding citizen this year but I've never been much of a law-breaker so that doesn't really count.
• I almost always save part of my meals to give to my dog, but that doesn't really count because I love her to death and don't mind, plus she sleeps with me and I fear retaliation.
• When my dad had his knee surgery earlier this year, I was pretty good at taking care of him and while he couldn't move at all I took care of all the household chores but that doesn't really count either because my dad has always taken great care of me and he works really hard at household chores all the time. If anything, I realized how lazy I usually am.

Suffice it to say, Mr. Claus, that I have been average this year. To sum it up, I guess perfect means 100% and awful means 0% so average would be 50%, right? So if you would cough up 50% of the items I asked for, I would be very happy.

Thanks, Santa! On behalf of my dog, I would like to wish you a very Merry Tiss-mas.

Sarah