200 Year-Old Spoilers

Last week my sister and I went to see the new, live-action version of Cinderella. We enjoyed it, and also enjoyed some of the ads that came before it- for example, we hadn't heard they're doing a live-action of Peter Pan, and it looks really good.

Today I got to thinking about Disney movies and why they choose, change, and cut off the story lines of famous fairy tales the way they do. Well, sometimes it's obvious- quite a few of the real story lines are unnecessarily grim, violent, and graphic! For example, legions of small children didn't need to know Peter Pan killed his Lost Boys when they reached puberty, or that despite several forms of torture (her tongue was cut out and walking felt like stomping on shards of broken glass) the Little Mermaid doesn't get her prince, but instead, dissolves into sea foam. And it wasn't essential to the plot that in the original version, Cinderella's step-sisters mutilated their own feet to fit the glass slipper, or that in the very end of the real Snow White, the evil queen is forced (as punishment) to wear red-hot iron shoes and dance til her death.

Yes, some of the choices they made make a lot of sense! But today I was thinking about possible changes and additions to the stories that wouldn't necessarily make them any more pleasant or sinister, but instead, realistic and relatable. Mainly, life AFTER the "happily ever after." And I'm not talking about the Direct-to-Video sequels Disney put out!

Off the top of my head, I'm talking about things like Cinderella having a baby, and Prince Charming's father dying. They don't include that stuff because it involves sex and pain and possible risk of the mother and baby dying in childbirth. And why go through the trouble of grieving the loss of a character the story doesn't need or focus on? Well, in my experience, when it comes to joy and sadness, you can't really have one without the other. Each throws the other into sharp focus. With Cinderella having a child, she is given someone to care for and love and nurture, things she's been lacking a lot of throughout her abuse and enslavement. And you know what? Even if she died, or the baby, it would hurt like hell, but they would live on through each other. And with the King dying, yes, it would be so painful for his son and for the kingdom, but it would put the Prince into the position of deciding who he is and who he wants to be. What kind of ruler he is, versus the ruler his father was. What things are truly important. The loss of his father could be a defining moment in his life. And it would celebrate the life of his father! It's always seemed sad to me that our funerals happen after we die- because funerals allow us to focus on the life of a person, the joys and triumphs brought together for everyone to appreciate. It would be kind of nice to be there in person and realize how good your life has been. What other people are to you and what you are to other people.

I guess it's mostly the complexity of human life that I find lacking in Disney movies. In Disney, there's good guys and bad guys, heroes and villains, and hardly ever someone in between. I don't think I've ever met a person I thought was truly all good or bad. That's kind of what being a human is all about... not what happens to you, but how you react and grow.

I realize I got suuuuuuuuuuuper deep with all of this! Unnecessarily so! Haha it's easy to criticize and speculate about fictional beings :P

Anyway, on a different but related note, I love writing my blogs, but eventually as a writer I want to write fictitious novels, as opposed to my blog writing which is more of a journal. So at some point I may start a different blog that is purely fiction and may possibly include some Sarah-rized version of old fairy tales!

I hope you will support me with that too!

Sarah

Confessions of a Bench Warmer

Everyone has things that they are good at doing. Things they just naturally excel at. Well, I am no exception! I'm a good writer, a decent photographer, and I can make a mean bowl of ramen noodle soup. The thing about me, though, is absolutely NONE of my talents involve sports. Of any kind! I am about as un-athletic as they come.

Baseball- I will say this: if I had to watch a sport on TV (that was not the Olympics or something) I would probably choose baseball, because it reminds me of my dad. It's his favorite sport!  I grew up with it on TV and we've gone to quite a few games. At a very young age my parents taught me to scream out the words, "Hit me the damn ball!" much to the alarm and delight of people sitting around us. However, I have never played an actual official game of baseball! Years and years ago, when my family would gather at my grandparents' house on cool summer evenings, sometimes we would get out some plastic bats and balls and throw an impromptu game of something similar to baseball. Occasionally I would take a few swings, but mostly I enjoyed climbing to the top of the plastic play-house in the yard and being the announcer: "Aaaaaaaaand Marty Record steps up to the plate! He takes a few practice swings! Aw, steeeeeee-rike one! We wanna pitcher, not a belly-itcher! He swings! And it! Is! Out of heeeere!" I enjoyed being obnoxious.

Basketball- In my defense, I wanted so badly to be good at basketball, it just wasn't in the cards. For a long time my favorite movie was Space-Jam, featuring Michael Jordan, and I wanted to be just like Mike! It's sort of ironic because now I am Michael Jordan's complete physical opposite. Anyway, for a while there I spent some time everyday "shooting hoops" (or, more accurately, "missing the backboard entirely"), convinced that I was on my way to basketball super-stardom. Several years later I actually joined (entirely against my will) a basketball team! I was one of those kids that everyone feels they have to include, but is actually a liability. I was given one shot at the big time: once at the beginning of the second half, I was given the ball to start. It was nerve-wracking! I dribbled a few times, imagining what Michael would do. The kids on the other team started getting closer, so I backed up. Over the line. The whistle sounded. Out of bounds! And there ended my basketball career.

My teammates faces:

Dance- I like to dance if no one's around! I'm just not good at it. No coordination. Well, that's not entirely true. I can headbang extremely well and can do the Macarena, Chicken Dance, and Hand Jive with the best of them!

Football- I have never played football of any kind. It's just asking for trouble! Inviting disaster. Of all the sports they show on TV, football is one of the ones I understand least. It just makes no sense to me! When I went to high school football games to watch my sister and the dance team at half time, I would always take a book.

Gymnastics- I actually went to gymnastics for a year or so! My biggest accomplishment was a back bend. I did have one thing going for me- my body is naturally very flexible! I always have been. And not just my legs and back- my hands too! Please enjoy this camera-phone video taken in 2006:

Kickball- If you are familiar with playground sports, you will  know that kickball is basically baseball, just with feet. I hate it. So much. I have all these traumatic memories of being forced into playing kickball years and years ago. I always embarrassed myself! I would either take a big kick and miss the ball entirely, or end up kicking it in the wrong direction, and everyone would be mad at me. Ughh. IT'S JUST A PLAYGROUND GAME!! GAHHHHH

Snowball- This is basically a version of dodge-ball that we used to play in grade-school P.E. all the time. We were divided into two teams, each team on one side of the gym with the half-court line being the boundary. The teacher would line up about 8 soft balls on the half-court line, then blow the whistle and everything descended into chaos. My classmates would dash forward to get the balls and throw them as hard as they could, and I stuck to the wall. No one ever really thought of me as a contender, so I wasn't a target. So I would be the only one left on my team and have all the balls on my side of the gym and I wouldn't want to throw them because everyone was watching and I throw like a total wimp. Finally I'd end up kicking the balls across the line so the other team could throw until I was hit and the game ended because when it was just me the whole class was pissed off that they had to sit there.

Soccer- Ahhhhh soccer! I was on a soccer team for a very short amount of time, and my strategy was this:
1. Follow the herd of children chasing the ball
2. Avoid getting near the ball at all costs
3. If #2 is unavoidable, kick hard in whatever direction

It worked!

:)

Sarah