Baseball- I will say this: if I had to watch a sport on TV (that was not the Olympics or something) I would probably choose baseball, because it reminds me of my dad. It's his favorite sport! I grew up with it on TV and we've gone to quite a few games. At a very young age my parents taught me to scream out the words, "Hit me the damn ball!" much to the alarm and delight of people sitting around us. However, I have never played an actual official game of baseball! Years and years ago, when my family would gather at my grandparents' house on cool summer evenings, sometimes we would get out some plastic bats and balls and throw an impromptu game of something similar to baseball. Occasionally I would take a few swings, but mostly I enjoyed climbing to the top of the plastic play-house in the yard and being the announcer: "Aaaaaaaaand Marty Record steps up to the plate! He takes a few practice swings! Aw, steeeeeee-rike one! We wanna pitcher, not a belly-itcher! He swings! And it! Is! Out of heeeere!" I enjoyed being obnoxious.
Basketball- In my defense, I wanted so badly to be good at basketball, it just wasn't in the cards. For a long time my favorite movie was Space-Jam, featuring Michael Jordan, and I wanted to be just like Mike! It's sort of ironic because now I am Michael Jordan's complete physical opposite. Anyway, for a while there I spent some time everyday "shooting hoops" (or, more accurately, "missing the backboard entirely"), convinced that I was on my way to basketball super-stardom. Several years later I actually joined (entirely against my will) a basketball team! I was one of those kids that everyone feels they have to include, but is actually a liability. I was given one shot at the big time: once at the beginning of the second half, I was given the ball to start. It was nerve-wracking! I dribbled a few times, imagining what Michael would do. The kids on the other team started getting closer, so I backed up. Over the line. The whistle sounded. Out of bounds! And there ended my basketball career.
My teammates faces:
Dance- I like to dance if no one's around! I'm just not good at it. No coordination. Well, that's not entirely true. I can headbang extremely well and can do the Macarena, Chicken Dance, and Hand Jive with the best of them!
Football- I have never played football of any kind. It's just asking for trouble! Inviting disaster. Of all the sports they show on TV, football is one of the ones I understand least. It just makes no sense to me! When I went to high school football games to watch my sister and the dance team at half time, I would always take a book.
Gymnastics- I actually went to gymnastics for a year or so! My biggest accomplishment was a back bend. I did have one thing going for me- my body is naturally very flexible! I always have been. And not just my legs and back- my hands too! Please enjoy this camera-phone video taken in 2006:
Kickball- If you are familiar with playground sports, you will know that kickball is basically baseball, just with feet. I hate it. So much. I have all these traumatic memories of being forced into playing kickball years and years ago. I always embarrassed myself! I would either take a big kick and miss the ball entirely, or end up kicking it in the wrong direction, and everyone would be mad at me. Ughh. IT'S JUST A PLAYGROUND GAME!! GAHHHHH
Snowball- This is basically a version of dodge-ball that we used to play in grade-school P.E. all the time. We were divided into two teams, each team on one side of the gym with the half-court line being the boundary. The teacher would line up about 8 soft balls on the half-court line, then blow the whistle and everything descended into chaos. My classmates would dash forward to get the balls and throw them as hard as they could, and I stuck to the wall. No one ever really thought of me as a contender, so I wasn't a target. So I would be the only one left on my team and have all the balls on my side of the gym and I wouldn't want to throw them because everyone was watching and I throw like a total wimp. Finally I'd end up kicking the balls across the line so the other team could throw until I was hit and the game ended because when it was just me the whole class was pissed off that they had to sit there.
Soccer- Ahhhhh soccer! I was on a soccer team for a very short amount of time, and my strategy was this:
1. Follow the herd of children chasing the ball
2. Avoid getting near the ball at all costs
3. If #2 is unavoidable, kick hard in whatever direction
It worked!
:)
Sarah
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