I Was Not Paid to Write This

I love my cozy, downtown pharmacy, the Medicine Shoppe. Even the name is wonderful and fancy... shoppe. You don't really hear the extra "pe", but you feel it and it is decadent. I have gone there as long as I can remember, and probably before that. 

There is something fascinating about wandering through the aisles and looking at cures for all sorts of horrible ailments you hope you will never experience, like the extreme poison ivy treatment with the poor boy on the box who is all swollen up like Aunt Marge in "Prisoner of Azkaban," except you feel bad for this boy. And it gives a fuzzy, nostalgic feeling when you look at medical treatments you used in the past, like wax for braces  and disgusting cough syrups that are "berry flavored." Bullshit. There are interesting devices everywhere that you don't really need, but really want to play with, like eyedroppers and stress-relief balls... and some you don't. Like the snot sucker they have to clear your baby's sinuses. I kid you not!

But I really, really like the people there, and well, I don't know if they particularly like me, but you better believe they all know me! I'm in there all. The. Time. And I'm the girl who once had them print out (ALMOST) a ream of paper with all my medical history over the past ten years. And once a month when I have to have my blood taken for my Clozaril, they have to fight and fax back and forth all over the medical world to get my prescription filled. But they do and they never complain!

But my favorite part? POINTS!!!!! The Medicine Shoppe has a rewards system! YESSSSSSSS

And, DAMMIT to I take advantage of that! You get the points when you purchase prescriptions there, and boy do I have a lot of those. Plus! My sister and my dad always let me steal their points. These points can then be used to purchase non-prescription items from the pharmacy. Like the snot sucker! 

And you know what? There are loyalty levels! Everybody starts at the bronze level and, if you don't spend the points and keep collecting, you can go up to the silver level. After that, gold! I think it's just my nature, but I HOARD these points. Picture me on a gigantic pile of golden and silver Med Shoppe points, caressing them, letting them slip through my fingers, stroking them and muttering, "Mine, mine, mine, mine..."

My loved ones tend to laugh and roll their eyes at my hoarding, but the joke is on them! If I keep carrying on this way, I'll have enough to buy everyone's Christmas gifts, though the options are somewhat limited! So now, you'll have to think about it and let me know what you want... vitamins? Crutches? Anti-diarrheals? A Neti-Pot? Snot-sucker!

The world is your oyster, my friend.

I wonder if there is a level beyond the gold... diamond? Platinum? Oh the possibilities! 

Sarah