Thursday, October 22, 2015

INFESTED

Alas! I am late with my Wordsday Thursday! Auchhhhhh! So it'll have to be quick one.

Lately, I've noticed some troubling things! Little odds and ends gone missing. Things left in places I swear I didn't leave them. My cats staring at walls and cupboards and other boring, unmoving objects. Little objects falling during the night. Feelings of being watched.

Ghosts? you say.

Nay!

It's...

THE BORROWERS!! I know it! If you are unfamiliar with them, they are little people that live in your house, stealing (oh, excuse me, borrowing) little odds and ends. Actually, here is a trailer for an old movie made about the Borrowers! Based on true events, I'm sure.



Anyway, I've got them BAD. An infestation!  At ACE, we sell products to get rid of mice and spiders and wasps and flies and scorpions and weeds and poison ivy, but we don't have a single product for Borrowers!

I mean, normally, I wouldn't want to take such a violent course of action, but I'm desperate! I had to go to KMart the other day because I could not find a SINGLE pair of socks. During the last few summer months, I've worn sandals and my (lame, but extremely comfortable) Crocs. But now that the weather is cooling down, I need socks. But the jerks have taken them all! My socks are just gone! I assume they're perfect little sleeping bags for Borrowers.

And for whatever reason, they seem particularly fond of my hair ties! Actually, and this is really odd, my sister has the same elastic-loving Borrowers! We'll buy a pack of fifty hair ties, and over the next few days, we find them ALL over the house. In weird places! Like in the toilet or in the cat's feeding bowls. Bizarre!

During the day when I'm at work, they must really come out and party because when I get home, Otis's toys will be all over the house and stuff on the top of my refrigerator will be down and spilled all over the kitchen floor. The pets' water dish will be spilled. My plants will look significantly more beat-up. It's kind of mind blowing how destructive they are! And WHY?

The other day, I had made myself some dinner and I put the plate on my couch and left the room to get something. CRASH! Some little Borrower creep had snuck into the living room and pushed my plate on the floor. Ass!

I can't for the life of me figure out why they're so aggressive all of a sudden. And honestly, I'm really disappointed in my cats for not hunting them down. It would seem they'd cross paths often because a lot of Borrower activity happens where my cats hang out all day long. Weird!

Anyway, I'll keep you updated. Any advice would be appreciated! It looks like we might have an epidemic on our hands.

Happy hunting!

Sarah

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