When I was younger, sometimes I felt much older than most kids my age. Mostly because I had already dealt with some pretty heavy shit... like hallucinations and depression and a suicide attempt all by age 12. My classmates seemed cheerful and carefree and I couldn't always relate.
Now, I often feel much younger than people my age. Especially because I have to live with my dad because my mental health makes it impossible to live healthily on my own. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't have anything to do with romantic relationships. So many people I went to school with and grew up with are married and/or have children or at least committed relationships. And here I am... just a big kid.
I'm not pretty. I'm just not. People will rush to correct me because they're nice and they care. But I'm not blind.. I know what I look like. I DO like my crazy hair and tattoos. But my nose is big and my skin is pitted. I'm overweight and... awkward.
There are definitely guys I like! I'm so immature just talking to guys is kind of exciting. But looking at myself through their eyes, I'm just... odd.
But all things considered, I'm doing pretty well! I'm healthy and I'm happy... just weird.
;)
Sarah
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