"May I speak to Sarah please?"
"Speaking," I said, hesitantly.
"Speaking," I said, hesitantly.
"Hi!" a cheerful voice chirped. "Would you like to reschedule a cleaning appointment?"
I gritted my teeth. I wanted no such thing. But. "Yes, please."
So, just under a week later, I found myself outside the dental office. As I always do, I had scrubbed my teeth beforehand, SERIOUSLY scrubbed. Then I used a disposable dental pick. Then I swished Listerine. Then, right before I went in, like the weasel I am, I took out my tongue ring. I have been severely chastised over it before so now I just take it out beforehand.
Compared to before, the waiting room was sparse and barely furnished, no chair within 6 feet of another. There was a heavy, clear plastic curtain hanging over reception. I perched on the edge of a plastic chair, wringing my hands.
"You can come back now," said a short woman I didn't recognize. Her eyes followed my through the doorway, examining me. I'm used to this scrutiny. Not everyone likes my appearance. But she was looking at me for a different reason.
"I think you went to school with one of my kids," she said. She rattled off a few names and one was familiar. I said so. "Oh, she's on drugs now," she said, like she was telling me the afternoon's weather forecast.
I followed her down a short hallway and into a patient room. She directed me to a sink in the corner and handed me a paper cup filled with mouthwash. "Swish for a minute, then spit," she instructed. "Yeah, my daughter's on a lotta drugs now." So casual. "She has a couple kids, too. I have them now." I nodded, swishing obediently. What am I supposed to say?
"Mmmhmm," I said nasally, mouthwash threatening to bubble up my nose, so I said nothing further.
"Spit." I did.
"Are you on any medications?"
Son of a bitch!
"Yeahhhhhhh," I exhaled. I am on a shit-ton of medication. Under duress, I can name the medicines, but as for dosages? Pshhh. No way, man.
She noticed my hesitance. "Maybe write them all down and bring them in to us?"
I jumped on the suggestion like a life raft. "Yes! Yes, I will."
I haven't just yet.
I got some x-rays taken. I was relieved that I didn't have to remove my ear jewelry because that would be a lot of effort.
A hygienist came in, scraped my teeth a little, then polished them. I recognized him as one of the tongue-stud-haters and was glad he said nothing about the hole in my tongue.
Finally, The Dentist came in. I always find it interesting because he doesn't do much. He takes a single tooth scraper and kind of taps my individual teeth with it.
"Your toothies look good," he murmured. "Tongue is pink and squishy." And pierced.
"All together, very boring," he concluded. "See you in 6 months!"
The candid nurse came swishing in and gave me my free toothbrush and appointment card for next time. On it, she had scrawled, "Bring list of medications."
I gathered up my belongings and turned to face her. "Um..." I didn't know what to say. "I hope your daughter gets better."
"Thank you," and she ushered me out the door. Out in the car I replaced my bright green tongue ring.
FREE FOR SIX MONTHS!!!
Sarah
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