Lesser-Known Medical Conditions and Terms

I think for today's Wordsday Thursday, we need to get serious. Lately, a few medical conditions have come to my attention that are quite rare, but can become very dire indeed, if left untreated. In extreme cases, very grim outcomes may result!

Below are a list of medical conditions and terms that you may be unfamiliar with or even totally unaware of. Some mostly affect humans, and some are more animal based. Some are not so bad, but remember, knowledge is power!

I must specially thank Elizabeth Record for her assistance with this blog, both recalling old diseases and identifying and naming new ones.

Remember! You never know when it will happen to you...

CHINESE FOOD DELIRIUM*- Human affliction. This is one of my personal struggles. All too often, I will purge myself on delicious Wonton Soup and Eggrolls, Crab Rangoons, and a Shirley Temple or two, and suddenly I find myself in a euphoric state, giggling uncontrollably at stupid, mundane things. I've had this problem long enough that I can identify it quickly, then just let it pass. As medical problems go, it's pretty enjoyable!
Prognosis: Surround yourself with loved ones who don't care if you act like an idiot.

GASTRONOMIC REDUNDANCY- Medical practice. I am a HUGE believer in this! I originally heard it on The Big Bang Theory- from Sheldon, of course! The idea is that you avoid eating the same (or very similar) foods in succession. For example, in my case, I cannot have chicken strips for lunch, and then chicken strips for dinner. I started it to be silly but now I really stick to it! It's an OCD way of forcing variety into my life.

HAPPY DOG JOG*- Animal affliction. This is a phrase I've known my whole life! I believe it was originally coined by my mom. It's pretty self-explanatory- you'll know it when you see it! A dog gets to go for a walk and they are, in that moment, more excited about that walk than you will ever be excited about ANYTHING in your life. They leap, they bound, they trot! They growl and bark and find sticks and pee! It's pretty awesome.
Prognosis: Excellent!

HYDRO-INDUCED CELLULAR ACTIVITY*- (Super) Human affliction. I know most of us are really not Disney Channel watchers anymore, but years and years ago they put out an original Disney-Channel movie called, "The 13th Year," an exciting tail, wink ;), about a boy turning into a merman. The idea is that when you turn 13, that's when your mermaidness starts kicking in. Anyway, I tucked this nugget of wisdom away in a corner of my brain. Then! Right around age 13, my sister got this weird thing for a while when after she was in water for a long time, her hands turned kind of white and scaley. I was convinced it was the start of her mermaid transformation!! Turns out, it wasn't. Honestly, we're not sure what the hell was happening there for a while. Hormones!
Prognosis: optimistic!

MUTT-MANGE*- Dog affliction. All dogs shed, at least a little. Unfortunately, some are much more affected than others. During certain shedding seasons, some dogs are cursed with huge chunks of fluffy fur shedding off their dog-butts. It sticks to anything and everything and is almost impossible to get rid of. On the occasions you do try and brush it all out, you are surrounded by more clumps of fur than you thought possible! This is the case with my dog, Otis. I can brush her and brush her (which is a feat unto itself!) and still, clumps will keep coming! When doing this, I often wish there were Locks-of-Love organizations for dogs.
Prognosis: Bleak. Other than shaving them entirely, you're stuck!

NAKES*- Medical practice. This is actually a word of my own invention. Technically it means running around naked, but really, it's more versatile than that. I think it's more a state of mind than anything. Running around free, not caring, just living.

NIP FAIRIES*- Cat affliction. A chronic sufferer, my sister's cat, Flo, is in the photograph below, and is the story behind this diagnosis. As many cats are, Flo is a recreational user of Cat Nip. I know she tries to keep her usage under control but sometimes she can't help herself. It's a slippery slope! After a particularly hard hit of Nip, Flo sometimes sees what we call "The Nip Fairies", fantastical beings conjured by Nip use. She will chase them for hours, as they torture her with visions of moths and pigeons and all other fun, chasable things.
Prognosis: Grim. Take Nip once, there's no going back...

NOSFERATUDERMIS*- (Super) Human affliction. Ahhhhh! My most recently named and identified diagnosis! As with the other superhuman affliction, it is centered around my sister! This year she has spent a lot of time out in ACE's greenhouse, and her skin has suddenly become very, very sensitive to sunlight. Without coverage or protection, her skin breaks out in itchy, painful red bumps! More than one person has suggested it might be an odd allergic-type reaction to sunlight. This, along with the fact that lately she's had trouble sleeping at night has given rise to my conclusion- she is, in fact, one of the undead.
Well, not exactly. But I did decide she is a Nosferatuderm- a combination of Nosferatu and epidermis. You probably can't tell, but I'm really proud of the name. Honestly, even though most people won't have the kind of problems my sister has with the sun, I say we should all adopt the term! I say, make it the new sunburn! Can't tan? Nosferatuderm! Bam.
Prognosis: Children of the Night! Wear your sunscreen!

SPATTERGROIT- Witch/Wizard affliction. Muggles, relax! From the Magical World of Harry Potter! A highly contagious disease that causes huge, purple, pus-filled blisters all over the affected. Over time, the pustules are said to spread, leaving the person immobile for months! I know it's a magical disease, but honestly I think I've had some pimples that pretty nearly qualified...
Prognosis: Euuuuughhhhh....

SPONTANEOUS DENTAL HYDROPLOSION- Human affliction. From The Office! In one episode, Dwight Schrute is trying to pick an insurance plan and he demands all the workers at Dunder Mifflin write down the diseases they want coverage for. Hilarity ensues! Spontaneous Dental Hydroplosion is when a person's teeth turn to liquid and they drip down the back of the throat- invented by Pam Beesley and Jim Halpert, to confuse Dwight.
Prognosis: very good!

___-ITIS- I'm sure you are already familiar with this suffix! You can attach it to anything and make it into a disease of your very own choosing! Senior-itis, Work-itis, Asparagus-itis... The list goes on!
What disease will YOU discover?


* indicates disease was identified and named by myself, or an immediate family member.

Here's to my health and yours!

Sarah
:)

Description! (And Throwback Thursday!)

Today, along with being Wordsday Thursday, was my day off! If you had wondered, that's why I chose Thursday as Blog-day. Anyway, today I went up to Pueblo for an appointment and as I was driving, I was mentally sorting through new blog ideas. Suddenly, I was (almost literally) struck by an idea! As I was traveling up I-25, a long stretch of road surrounded by rocky mountains and overgrown fields as far as the eye can see, I drove into a thunderstorm with blue-black clouds and glittering bursts of lightening. I was suddenly amazed by the beauty of it all! I didn't have a camera, except a crappy phone one, but even if I did I could have shot pictures all afternoon and never caught the real beauty of it. In a way, I think words can be even more powerful than photographs because pictures only capture a version of what's in front of the camera, while words can draw up all sorts of images and feelings, including things that don't actually exist. Photographs can captivate you and inspire wonder, but words can creep into your mind and take control. Words can grow your mind and make you stronger!

Anyway, for today's Wordsday Thursday I thought I'd just describe things to you! I realize most of the people who read this blog regularly know me at least a little, and I do talk about myself a lot. But usually I write about my thoughts and struggles and point of view. I rarely describe my physical world!



BUT FIRST!
Below is an actual journal entry I wrote over three years ago. Be kind! At the time I had no intention of other people reading it. I think my OCD was showing itself in the fact that I insisted on documenting exactly when I began and stopped writing the entry.

What a treat for you! Enjoy. :P


Description!
Saturday, February 11th, 2012
10:17pm- 11:20pm

For some reason, I am in a descriptive mood tonight, so I will be descriptive. Because I can.

I sit on my bed next to my favorite living creature in the world, a dog with brown and tan fur and an attitude like a strong bottle of alcohol- very strong and sort of an acquired taste, but if intoxicated with her presence long enough, she lifts your spirits and, if you‘re like me, you become addicted to her. But there is no Otis rehab and I wouldn’t join if there was.
She holds her favorite blue stuffed lobster, Chester, between her front paws and licks him affectionately. There is a game I like to play with Otis and Chessie. As Otie lounges on my bed, I snatch Chess out of her grip and make him inch slowly toward her. Otis becomes extremely still and tense. Even her eyes freeze in place, but don’t let this deceive you. She is hyper aware of Chess and my actions and as soon as I move Chessie close enough, Otis growls and twitches a bit. Then I make Chess squeak by squeezing his damp body and the game is over. Otis snatches him out of my hand and continues to lick his blue fur.
My room is mostly dark; I have only one lamp lit, the one close to my bed, the one I read by. It is not very strong, but casts shadows across the room, a cluttered space that, no matter how clean I get it, still looks full and slightly messy. The walls are almost completely covered with posters of bands and films and one poster of Justin Bieber that has been used as target practice. There is also a full sized pirate flag with the skull and crossbones draped on the wall by my headboard.
The room is filled to bursting with books and magazines. No matter how hard I try to keep them on their shelves, there are always one of two that manage to escape the shelves and find a home on the floor.
One shelf in my room is completely covered with perfume bottles, another with DVDs. In the corner of my room sits my blue Ibanez bass guitar, a little dusty from disuse, but is unfailingly familiar to my hands and fingers, no matter how long I go without playing it. Next to my bass stands my mummy, very tall and useful as a place to hang unwanted jewelry and other accessories. She wears a very old Trivium shirt, a joker mask, and 3D glasses lifted from a movie theater.
Heavy dark blue curtains hang in front of my windows. They do a very good job of blocking out the early morning sun. Around the curtains are draped old Christmas lights. They are rarely plugged in, but when they are, they are beautiful and bright. At night looking at the front of the house, if the lights are plugged in, they cast a blue glow around my window.
I am sitting on my bed in fuzzy pajama pants with polar bears on them and an old “Billabong” shirt that belonged once to my dad. I took a bath earlier and even though I did not completely wet my hair, the strands that mere hours ago were shiny and straight now curl in many small tendrils.
My face, though no longer completely covered in acne is scarred horribly from past breakouts. I’m wearing my new glasses that are slightly stronger than my last ones. At the place on the frames where the ear pieces connect with the front, there is an elegant design, almost Elvish in appearance.
I need to cut my nails soon- they are getting long and ready to break. I also need to repaint my nails- only tiny traces of polish remain on them.
Looking at my hands, I see my fat stubby fingers punctuated with many rings- rings of silver, rings of gold. I remember and value every single ring because they each have their own story- my thumb ring I bought from an Italian vendor in the city of Pompeii. On my left ring finger, I have a plain, silver band that matches rings that my sister and dad have and below it, my Granny’s graduation ring. It is a gold band with black onyx stone with her school’s name and graduation year. On the inside of the gold band, it is engraved, “NLR- 1951”. On the middle ringer of my right hand, I have an old Coast to Coast my grandmother LaVonne gave me. Finally on the ring finger of my right hand, I have a thin silver band with a small spiral on top.
I also regularly wear two necklaces. One I got last Christmas and is a very plain silver chain with a metal dog print charm. I also wear a necklace I got years ago in Ireland- a silver charm with a Celtic pattern.
In my ears, I regularly wear only a small metal stud in the top hole of each ear, and a very large safety pin in my left ear.
My hair, aside from being in gentle waves is also several colors. The hair on the left side of my face is red faded into pink, with a dark brown on the other side.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Ironically, it is my Dad’s one day a week off, but he tends to work even harder on Sundays, getting all sorts of chores done around the house. I’m afraid I’m not a very good house-mate. I really don’t pull my weight work wise. I sleep til noon every Sunday, stumble downstairs half asleep and allow my dad to cook me lunch. More often than not, I take a nap soon afterwards.
The weather today was cold and misty and icy. I love weather like this! However, I must say, I’m glad it’s doing this weather today- Monday I have to drive over the pass to school and I’m not an extremely confidant driver anyway, but then add bad weather? No thank you!
The bath I took earlier was very nice. I sat beside the tub as I let it fill with very hot water. When it was filled, but gingerly stepped in the water- the water almost burned my feet! But I slowly lowered myself into the tub and soon, whether it actually cooled or I just got used to it, it was really very pleasant.
Aight! I’ve got the description out of my system! Thanks for your patience.
_____________________________________________________________________

Woo-hoo! Throwback Thursday! Haha

Like I said, today's drive was beautiful! It was stormy and colorful. This year we have gotten much more rain and everything is green and flourishing. A quiet wind made the tall grass along the highway bend and sway and broke the surface of deep puddles in the asphalt. Lightning cracked through the clouds and the thunder rumbled underneath the bass of the music I was listening to in the car. I had the air conditioning on high and it played with my hair until I tied it back in a hasty ponytail.

When the rain started, it came down hard, pelting the windshield with vigor. I could see the big, fat raindrops hitting the road and bouncing. The black asphalt turned into a silvery, reflective surface that looked to be of half-rain, half-sky. The rain was so heavy that the road was covered with water, and I slowed down. In my peripheral vision I saw the weeds in the road-side pastures whipping around wildly, what seemed to be an ecstatic celebration of rain and life.

I passed a lot of construction- lots of bright orange traffic cones and tired looking people wiping the summer sweat from their brows. They all wore construction hats and bright vests and some help up hefty "SLOW" signs. They looked jaded and didn't seem to mind the dangerously massive trucks that screeched by them.

After my appointment I went to Barnes and Nobles. I just have to step inside the double-doors and I'm in a book-filled heaven. I'm not a coffee drinker but the scent of new books and ground, sweet coffee beans is intoxicating. It's always pleasantly, perfectly warm. It has the hushed calm of a library, but feels more relaxed. I could spend hours there among the shelves. Books about anything and everything, little miniature portals that take you to any world you can imagine. I like to think that someday others will tarry at the little cafe tables, thumbing through my books!

I'm sorry this blog got so long! I love doing description, and it's a good writing exercise! Thanks for bearing with me! :)

Sarah

P.S. Words may be better than photos, but I still love photography to death!!

I Must Confess...

Hey-ho readers! I thought for today's Wordsday Thursday, I'd make a quick list of things I feel the need to confess. Some are serious, some are stupid, and some are downright silly!

• I will always love Children of Bodom. And the Spice Girls.
  
  
  
  
  
• Once I tricked my dad into eating a Warhead. If you are unfamiliar with them, they are these AWFUL sour candies that look all innocent and sweet til you taste them. I really wish I had a camera....
  
• When I had braces, I (like most kids) totally disregarded the "No gum or chewy candy" law. At my orthodontists office in Pueblo, there was a big shrubbery outside his front door that was FULL of discarded chewing gum. Once, while I was in his waiting room, his secretary freaked out at a kid who was foolish enough to come in chewing gum. She was pretty much screaming. At one point, I was watching a movie and eating Starbursts, and- lo and behold! One of my brackets came loose. When I went to the orthodontist to have it re-glued, I told them it came loose because I was "brushing my teeth too hard." Yeah. Don't think they believed me.
  
  
  
  
  
• I quite seriously believe I am one of the worst housekeepers that ever lived.
  
• I have a mental list of who I will donate money to when I become rich and famous.
  
• My face looks like this now:

  

Because it used to look like this:

(Pictures are, unfortunately, very real! We were at the Renaissance Festival and taking pictures of our crowns)

 

I am SO thankful that a little medicine called Clozaril happened and I got away from Lithium. For many reasons!

• I think the Backstreet Boys were SOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than N'Sync. Sorry, not sorry.
  
• I live with Schizoaffective Disorder and OCD and I am damn proud of it!
  
• I have read the entire "50 Shades" trilogy and it was okay! It was definitely... interesting! Haha! And I found it hilarious that it started out as "Twilight" fan fiction.
  
• Today I sat in the shade drinking Dr. Pepper while my sister, under a baking-hot sun, planted some barrels outside my home. Impatiens and Hen & Chicks and Dragon's Wings, oh my!
  
• I'm probably more afraid of losing my dog than I have ever been afraid of anything.
  
• I'm not a HUGE drinker, but I find alcohol fascinating. Mixing drinks makes me think of taking a Potions class at Hogwarts.
  
  
  
• I also use cool empty alcohol bottles to water my plants.
  
• I have recently been making incredible progress on what could quite possibly be my first book. I write some every day and it's really starting to come together.
  
• Sometimes I criticize myself for not being what most would consider a "typical" person my age. But then I think: so far, my life as been anything but ordinary. Why the hell would I think the rest of my life would be anymore so? I think I will do great things in this world, and I probably won't achieve them if I'm too worried about being normal.

:)

Sarah

Vacations!

First, let me apologize for missing Wordsday Thursday last week! I had a doctor's appointment in Pueblo, then, the day after, I got the stomach flu. It just wasn't in the cards last week.

So! My sister and I have decided that later this summer, she and I are going on a road trip out to the east coast to see our mom in West Virginia! When we visited before, we always flew out to Charleston, but we decided that we want to drive this time. We're excited to drive through gorgeous parts of the country we are unfamiliar with, and, most importantly, spend time with our Mom!

In the spirit of vacation, I've compiled a list of anecdotes from trips I've taken in the past. Credit also goes to Elizabeth Record for helping me think of good ones!

• Many years ago, I went on a trip with my family down to Mexico. It was beautiful! One day we took a boat ride to a little beach that was perfect for swimming and snorkeling. At the beach there was a place where you could kick off your sandals to go play in the water, and we did. Later that night back in the hotel room, my dad noticed that something was strange about his sandals... they weren't his!! Before leaving for the trip, he had bought a $10 pair from Walmart that, by chance, looked almost identical to the much pricier pair he accidentally swiped from the beach. Whoops!
  
• About 11 years ago, I went on a trip with my mom and grandmother out to Tulsa. I had just adopted tiny little Otis and I wasn't about to leave her, so she came with us! Problem was, not all places are pet-friendly and we couldn't leave her in the car, so we had to smuggle her in. We had a little backpack that we would put her in as we came and went in the hotels. It was the funniest thing! She never yipped or whined once. In the rooms, we mostly kept her in the bathroom, and we were very good about cleaning up after her. But in hindsight, we weren't really as sneaky as we thought... we left behind a lot of yellow paper towels!
  
• One year around Christmas-time, I went up to Denver with my family and we watched the light parade, which was great! It was cool and pretty to watch. What we did not expect was that Kelsey Grammer was on one of the floats! If you're not familiar with him, he played Frasier Crane on "Cheers" and "Frasier". I grew up watching his shows so that was pretty awesome!
  
• After my Freshman year in high school, I went on a school trip to Italy. The whole trip was amazing, but our story happened on the night I had my first real alcoholic drink. We were eating at a restaurant and out waiter served us all shots of Limoncello. It was delicious. But the funniest part? I was with three people- two teachers and my mom!
  
• A very, very long time ago, my sister and I went with our grandparents out to Nebraska to visit some family. I have many fond memories of that trip! I learned to swim on that trip. I remember getting my grandpa to try a Fruit Roll-Up and he forgot to take off the plastic layer before taking a bite! While driving back home, we were pulled over, and while Grandpa chatted with the police officer, I drew a portrait of the officer from the back seat. My Grandma still has that drawing somewhere.
  
• I took another trip about 11 years ago, this time with the Presbyterian/Methodist youth group. We went out to the Heifer Project in Arkansas and did lots of cool things like rafting and swimming and rock balancing (a true art! As seen in the picture below) and once when swimming my mom almost got bitten by a water snake. And it was on this trip I learned a term I will never forget: "Boo-ho", translation: "Blue Hole". One day on the trip we were hot and sweaty and wanted to find a good place to cool off so we asked some local kids, where was a good swimming spot? "'f y'all wanna coo awff y'all could swim down't the boo-ho. Down the road a bee-ut?" And they were right! It was a magnificent Boo-ho.

• On the Italy trip, one thing we were told repeatedly was, "Watch out for pickpockets!" They target tourists at tourist destinations, and that was our situation exactly. So we were all very careful, and as far as I know, none of us were! Except, once, one of the boys who went on the trip, Alan, decided to try his hand at thievery, using one of the older women on our trip as a target. We were walking down the streets in a beautiful Italian city and Alan crept up behind her. He started to reach for her purse when she sensed him. Quick as a wink, she whirled around and used her purse has a weapon, beating Alan with it. When she realized who it was, she stopped and clutched her chest. "Darn you, Alan!" she scolded, "I thought you really were a pickpocket!" Then she started hitting him with her purse again.
  
• Last time we went to West Virginia, we went to several fishing destinations, but as life goes, you never get what you want when you want it! One afternoon we were wading in a river, and suddenly my sister squawked and bolted out of the water. "What! What?" we asked her.
  "A fish just bit my toe!" she told us. We looked at each other and started to snort. "I swear!" she said. "YOU go stand over there. Maybe he'll bite you too." I very much doubted it, but went over and did so. I wasn't there 30 seconds before I got this odd sensation on my foot, not really a pinch but a weird pressure. So I squawked and ran out of the river right after her! Damn fish!
  

I just realized I have way more memories than I have time to write! Look out for Part 2!

:)

Happy June!

Sarah