Life Makes Me So Sad Sometimes

I logged onto Youtube a little while ago and I was instantly met with a barrage of videos reporting on the terrorist attack on Nice, France. It happened pretty recently, so the death and injury tolls are not exact, but the reporters knew enough to say it was absolutely awful. They are sure that at least 80 have already died, and a great many more are injured. Apparently, there was a large truck just running innocent people down at the waterfront, where people were gathered to watch fireworks celebrating Bastille Day. When the truck stopped, the driver then jumped out and started shooting.

I have never been to France. I don't know anybody in France. But all the same, it just makes me sick! Especially in conjunction with what has been happening here in America lately. I mean, saying the shooting in Orlando was "horrible" is a gross, horrendous understatement. And just the general hate and violence that seems to be everywhere these days.

The cavalier disregard for life is just... staggering.

I know I have a somewhat unique perspective on life, being that I tried to end my own. I was very, very sick and depression just totally messes with your head. But as hateful and violent as I was to myself, I cannot envision ever feeling like that towards other people, let alone actually acting on it. I can't even imagine what would drive a person to be so full of hatred and intolerance, combined with the belief that it was their right to end the lives of other people.

 There is nothing that I can say on this blog that could possibly change anything. I haven't said anything that hasn't already been said a million times. But I'm still gonna say it.

As I said before, I don't personally know any of the Nice victims, or anyone in France. But it still BOTHERS me because I am human.

I haven't yet heard who is behind this attack on France. I don't know what they were trying to prove or accomplish. I know many people say that a lot of the world's violence has to do with religion. Well, I have admitted in the past that I am an atheist and so I can't contribute much to that discussion... all I'm saying is, maybe lets stop blaming our gods and just try to be the best PEOPLE we can be.

Right now I am sitting on my couch in my house with my air conditioner blowing the hot summer air away. My dog, my best friend, is fast asleep with her head on my foot. My cats are tearing around my house, skidding on my kitchen floor. It was my day off work today, and I haven't done much.. I had my monthly blood test done this morning so that I can keep taking my miracle medicine, Clozaril, which has made my life sooooo much better. I am surrounded by family here in Raton, and in just a few weeks, I will get to see my mom and my step-dad Leo, and I CANNOT WAIT!

I have a very good life, and every once in a while, it's good to take a step back and realize it!

Sorry you had to listen to me rant, it's just been building up in me for a long time, and I had to get it out.

My thoughts go out to France!

Sarah