The Mystery Present!

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but today is my birthday! Woop-wooooop! I turned 24. I drove up to Pueblo for a doctor's appointment today and on the way I was mentally reviewing some of my past birthdays: some great, some... unfortunate.

My 17th birthday sucked, and it was all my fault. It was one of the last days of school before our Christmas break, so we were in the middle of taking all of our finals. Lucky me, I got to take my Pre-Cal final on my birthday! If you do not know me, I will tell you: I am not a mathematician. Just.. nope. I think the biggest part of it is some sort of mental block... kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I hate math and so when I do math I am unhappy and I feel sure I will fail, and then I do badly, and I hate math more. And that helps nothing.

When I was in my sophomore year of high school, I had to drop out for a while because the mania from my Schizoaffective Disorder was so totally unbearable, I couldn't cope at school. Mostly my teachers really worked with me and I kept up okay with the schoolwork. But with Geometry, I fell hopelessly behind and it was a huge mess. Honestly, I think that sensation of being so behind in Geometry is really close to what it feels like to be in debt... just working and working to catch up, but being unable to. Ever since then, I've just hated math with a passion.. I mean, I'm obviously no genius, but I'm not an idiot either. I'm certain my problem with math is much more an attitude problem then me being too dumb to do it.

Anyway! On my 17th birthday, I had my math final and I did abysmally. And I fessed up to my dad and he was angry and disappointed and yelled at me and I yelled too and I went to bed crying and miserable. But you know what? My dad forgave me and with the help of one or two absolutely incredible teachers, I got that math "debt" cleared up!

But then last year, on my 23rd birthday, everything was going pretty well, but since I had the day off I drove my Grandma and her dog, Earl, to the vet's because he was old and had been feeling poorly. Well, wouldn't you know, that was THE vet's visit where they told us "The dog needs to be put down." It just broke my heart a little. I'm a softy when it comes to animals, and I knew how badly it hurt my Grandma.

But! As I said, I've had some pretty awesome birthdays, too! Namely, my 12th birthday, which is surprising because I was pretty depressed back then. But "The Return of the King" came out ON MY BIRTHDAY and I went with my friends to see it and it was just so amazing. Then, one year I went with my friend, my dad, and my aunt to a Lamb of God concert on my birthday and that was great, too. Someone in the crowd brought in a bucket of KFC chicken and soon everybody in the audience was covered, greasy and slimy from having chicken thrown on them. My dad still brings up that concert now and then and laughs about it.

Today's birthday was a pretty great one! I got several birthday cards in the mail, and my Mom sent me some  pretty, bright, shiny books! What can I say? She knows me pretty well!

As a birthday celebration, on the way back home from my doctor's visit, I stopped at Chef Liu's in Trinidad and met my dad, Emmy, and David there! The food was excellent as always, and we special ordered a bunch of Chinese donuts and Emmy put a birthday candle in each one!

The biggest part of our conversation at dinner was centered around... THE MYSTERY PRESENT!

Last night, I was watching "Supernatural" (surprise!) with my sister, and she instructed me to please clear off a sizable space inside my front porch for a "present", and that's all she would tell me. SO FRUSTRATING! All day today I was trying to figure out what it could possibly be, and I was clueless. So, at dinner, I tried to investigate.

"So," I said oh-so-casually as I cut into an eggroll. "Did you, uh, deliver the present?"
Emmy grinned into her cup of tea. "Yes," she said simply. "Any ideas what it is? You'll never guess it..."
I considered. "Well, I'm assuming it is pretty big, or you wouldn't have made me clean my porch. Wait!" I said as a horrifying thought struck me, "You weren't messing with me, were you? It's not a little thing and you felt like making me clean??"
She laughed. "No, but we should do that next year. So, ideas?"
"Well," I said thoughtfully, "I don't think you bought me a pony, because you would probably put it in my back yard instead of on my porch. How many people did it take to move it?"
Emmy opened her mouth to answer, but my dad cut in smoothly, "Somewhere between one and twelve."
While Emmy and David laughed, I scowled. "That is not helpful!"
"I know," my dad said sagely, as he swiped a snow pea from my bowl of soup.
I bounced up and down in my seat. "Hints??" I pleaded. I really do revert to childhood when it comes to presents.
My companions all glanced at one another, squinting shrewdly. "Well, uh, it's alive!" said my dad suddenly. "You're gonna have to feed and water it and stuff..."
"You bought me a plant?" I asked blankly.
"I don't know, Dad," said my sister. "It was pretty cold out on that porch.. might not make it!"
"You bought me a dead plant?" I amended. "Will Otis like it?"
"I would think so, " said Emmy, considering. "But she's kind of cranky. Who knows?"

From there I began receiving more and more odd and obscure "clues" that I felt more confused than before I heard them! After blowing out my birthday donut-candles, we made a quick trip to Walmart, then headed home. We all pulled up in front of my house for the big reveal, and my dad made me cover my eyes as they lead me up to the porch. My sister ran inside and turned on the light.
"Ready? One, two... three!"

In front of me stood a huge, magnificent... MATTRESS!! Still wrapped in plastic! My mouth fell agape and I blissfully fell against it, embraced by the soft, squishy fabric. A brand new mattress! The one I'm using now is at least 20 years old. Heaven in a bag! With it came a new comforter and sheets.

My companions laughed as I admired it. Suddenly, I giggled. "I thought I needed to feed and water it..?" I asked my dad.
He shrugged. "I had to throw you off the trail."

Like, I said, a pretty great birthday! I won't be sleeping on the new mattress just yet, but it won't be long now.

And Christmas is just a week away! If you're lucky, you might get a Christmas poem! ;)

Happy Birthday to me!

Sarah