Deer: Our Natural Predator

Is there a stronger, older conflict in all of humanity than... MAN VS. DEER? I think not!

What, you don't agree? Think I'm making this stuff up?? I'll bet you're a city dweller! Big town folk. You think of deer as:

Don't you??!! I thought so. Allow me to show you the true face of deer in this chilling and unaltered, un-doctored sighting!!

Oooooughhh! Gives you the goosebumps, doesn't it? I want to take your on a trip.. a cautionary tale about a woman named... Abigail.

One bright, breezy afternoon in May, Abigail took a trip to her local ACE Hardware store. Business was booming, and Abby initially had a hard time finding a good parking spot! But she did... and a REAL parking spot. Not like those people who park in front of the Rental Yard gates, blocking traffic! The "DO NOT PARK" signs may be faded away, people, but really! Common sense!--But I digress. Abby opened her car door and a rush of oven-temperature heat poured into the vehicle. She grabbed her bag, slammed the door shut behind her, and trudged across the sweltering parking lot towards.. the GREENHOUSE! There was an awning over several racks full of plants, but the shade did nothing to take away from the gorgeous trays of petunias and marigolds and coleus and pansies and begonias. The Greenhouse was overfilling with vegetables and herbs and accent plants. ANOTHER, smaller greenhouse was spilling out rose bushes and hanging baskets and peonies and clematis and all manner of Perennial plants. Abs had her choice! She grabbed an expertly folded cardboard box and wandered around the two greenhouses and past them to the shrubs in the rental yard. The heat made her hair stick to the back of her neck and she tried not to think of swimming pools and glasses of ice-cold Dr. Pepper. But! In the end, she rounded up THREE humongous boxes off plants of all kinds. As she payed for the nursery stock, it struck Abby how ALIVE her plants seemed, almost like adopting a fish or a turtle. Back at home, she donned a dorky but practical hat to save her skin from the burning sun, and crawled around on her hands and knees, planting and weeding and watering. After hours of labor, she finally stood and massaged her aching back as she surveyed her hard work. It really was fabulous! Every color of the rainbow, even the blue color that is so hard to find! The plants, Abigail thought, looked even healthier and happier now that they had been planted and tended to and... loved.

As Abby lay in bed that night, she thought nice, colorful, beautiful thoughts. You know, if she pulled up some more weeds, she could fit some more of those spike plants...! And planing future planting and purchasing, she drifted off to sleep.

It is often when we are at our happiest that tragedy really strikes.

When Abigail woke up the next morning, she was greeted by a grisly, sickening scene. SOMETHING had ripped through her gardens, massacring the armies of petunias, so painstakingly planted in neat rows. It had torn the tops off her marigolds, then disturbingly spat them back out. Some of the flowers had been yanked out to the point of seeing their little baby roots. The gorgeous, blooming rose bush she had purchased was stripped clean of blooms and leaves, just a dead, empty plant.

It turned Abby's heart to ice. She slumped down into her destroyed garden and put her face in her hands, feeling sick and close to tears. THEN!! She noticed the sick, destructive CREEPS had left her a gift.. a chilling reminder that she would never be really alone, that she could never have the garden she dreamed of...

A PILE OF DEER DROPPINGS!!

Oh! Let me tell you, this is not an uncommon occurrence here. The deer who live here live WITHOUT fear! They see our gardens as buffets and they think of our hard work in the garden as we think of food preparation. And believing they won't come into town is a BIG FAT LIE! Saying, "Well, I don't live out in the mountains so I must be safe" is WRONG WRONG WRONG!

And they are so vicious! People say there are plants deer won't eat, but they are mistaken! Even if they do stumble across a plant they don't like, they will rip it out of the ground anyway and spit it out.

Yes, there are deer-repelling products (sold at ACE!) that advertise the ability to keep the vermin at bay, and I've also heard of some other methods: put wind-propelled spinners in your garden or shave off bits of Irish Spring soap! But that is only so effective.


Now that I have, regrettably, shattered your calm, I want to try to reassure you.

You must see it as a circle-of-life deal! If you are a venison fan, think of it is: they eat our flowers, we eat them. Or: they eat our plants, but we use their feces as fertilizer! (I CANNOT ACTUALLY APPROVE OR RECOMMEND THIS! It is thus far pretty untested.. I did a little research and apparently the deer poo is very high in nitrogen.. so there you go)

AND! When you are planting, just picture this:

Also! Consider indoor plants.

Happy Planting!

Sarah

I Believe in DOGS

I'll just come right out with it and say: I am not religious. AT ALL. I am a complete and utter heathen. 

And it's not from lack of exposure and failure to try! Growing up, I went to church pretty often (though I usually brought a book for during the sermon) and attended Sunday School semi-regularly (mostly it was arts and crafts and really bad Christian rap songs about the books of the Bible) and I was even dragged to Vacation Bible School despite throwing hissy fits every year. (Sorry, Mom!)

I remember being very little and saying prayers before I fell asleep. 'Course, it was ME, so instead of asking God to simply "Bless my friends and family. Amen." I asked God, "Please bless Mom and Dad and Emmy and Granny and Grandma and Grandpa and and Whiskers and Julie and Holly and Pebbles and Earl and Aunt Jeannie and Uncle Bruce and George and Cameron and Aunt Helen and Uncle Andy and Matthew and Aunt Sonja and Uncle Jeff and Danny and Brian and---"
I went on to mention all of my friends and my teachers and my doctors and animals that we drove by in the car everyday that my family nicknamed. I think most of the time I fell asleep before finishing!

So I really didn't mind that early church part of my life!... except, looking back, the things I liked weren't religious at all! I liked playing in the bell choir (I was middle C and D man!) and doing crafts and even then I found fire a little fascinating so being the acolyte was kinda cool. I liked seeing my family there.

I just don't... believe. And being that most of my family are good Presbyterians and also kind enough to read my blogs, I really don't want to offend anybody! It's just.. after all these years I know who I am and I know what I believe. And I absolutely don't have a problem that other people do believe in God and find him important! I just don't.

Like I said... HEATHEN! Blasphemous. Irreverent! Despicable.

Now I know some people think it's awful, because without reading the Bible and following the 10 Commandments, how could people know how to behave?

Well, speaking for myself, even if I had never seen or heard the 10 Commandments in my life, I was still born into a family of good, caring, trustworthy people who instilled that manner of behavior in me. Not to mention, I was born with a GARGANTUAN amount of naturally occurring guilt that results in my inability to misbehave without painfully regretting it for the next few weeks.

Now, I think we've all heard the saying, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything," which may be aimed at sacrilegious, profane people such as myself who don't believe.

You know what? I couldn't agree more! And so we come to the point of this blog!

You know what I stand for? Dogs. I BELIEVE IN DOGS!! And cats! And birds and chickens and horses and donkeys and de-stunk skunks, and ohhhhhh! I'm starting to sound like how I used to pray at night.

I believe in these animals with their unconditional love, and their ability and knack for finding us when we most desperately need them.

I believe these animals are so much more full of love and life than a lot of humans are, and we can learn from their optimism and open happiness.

I believe they are purely good, even the naughty ones like Mose, who CHEW AND CHEW AND CHEW on your prized possessions. He may be annoying, but he will never be mean or spiteful... something a lot of people could learn.

I believe animals save us just as much, if not a TON MORE, than we save them.

I believe they poke themselves into our lives like Otis' wet little nose nudges me in the morning to wake me up.

I believe they have a lot to teach us, and I believe we should listen.


Happy Wordsday Thursday, guys!

Sarah

I Miss You

Sometimes I really wish I wasn't so dependent on other people... I wish that I could be a little braver and more capable and more self-reliant.

But I can't help it. I just need people. And when I lose people, it's really hard! Of course, there are different ways to "lose" someone, in varying degrees of permanence. 

But here is a quick list of people I'm really missing right now!

Granny!

It is actually her birthday tomorrow, and I've really been thinking about her! For the majority of my life, she lived really close! Just down the hill. And my sister and I loved to go to her house. I remember climbing in the old apple tree beside her house and hiking down the hill to the creek, where we packed picnics and played with plastic boats Granny kept in a shed. I remember sitting in her upstairs living room, reading books like "Obadiah the Bold" and playing with historically accurate paper dolls. I spent tons of time playing games like "The Sims" on her old computer and playing with her beautiful doll houses. I loved playing with her old ink pens and bottles of ink, which would stain my hands for days. I would sit at her beautiful piano and play "Chopsticks" over and over and over. And books! Books, books, books everywhere. On any subject you can think of! And she always made Emmy and I macaroni and cheese with green peas!

Now she lives out in Tulsa, OK, in a BEAUTIFUL place, and I know she loves it there. I just wish we could see her more! We've got to visit her a few times, and even though it's a totally new environment, it still feels so familiar! Still the same books and art, and still the same Granny!

Happy Birthday, Granny! We all love you.

Johnny Ray

It's tough to wrap my head around, but on June 19th, it will mark 10 years since we lost Johnny Ray. 10 years, and I think we all still miss him like crazy. Try as I might, I can't come up with a negative memory of him. He was just so positive.

I remember the first time I officially met him! I took my bass and little Hartke amp to Ben and Geoff's house to jam for the first time, and Johnny Ray had spent the night there. As I was coming inside, he was getting up and I heard a pained groaning. He had forgotten to take his contact lenses out and his eyes were all stuck together and painful! As we were formally introduced, he had his left hand over his squinted eyes and he blindly and randomly swung his right hand around til it met mine. I couldn't help but laugh a little.

To this day, I certainly cannot think of Dimebag Darrell without thinking of Johnny Ray. Way back when we started "Asunder" and well into "Dead End Philosophy," I remember all of us getting together and practicing in Ben and Geoff's back shed and in Trevor's Grandma's garage. Those guys all taught me to headbang! And he enjoyed wrapping up a good practice with Pantera's "Domination". Couldn't go wrong there!

And I will always remember the 2-person club he and I were in, "The In-Crowd". Needlessly to say, it was pretty exclusive. I remember talking to him on Instant Messenger one night and we were delighted that we were both learning Lamb of God's "Remorse is for the Dead." And practicing it together. I remember the day after I got my braces off, he poked me until I laughed so he could see my teeth. A couple times when the RHS Band had to play at football games, he enjoyed borrowing my cell phone and taking selfies with people in the crowd, way before "Selfies" became a thing!

It's painful to know we lost him so early, but I think just about everyone who knew him would agree what a positive impact he had on us!

This is by no means a great photograph, but as far as I know, this is the only picture I have of us together.

Mom

In this day and age, it's pretty easy to keep in touch, I know. Cell phones and landlines and texting and emailing and Facebook and such! And, trust me, I employ all of these techniques! But there's something so wonderful about BEING with someone. HUGGING them. Playing Scrabble and Gin Rummy with them. Playing with their dogs. Meeting their chickens(!). Just spending time with my mama! Don't you just wish you could apparate, like in Harry Potter?! Or use the Floo Network? Hell, I'd take a broomstick and fly over to West Virginia!... assuming I didn't get HOPELESSLY LOST and end up in northern Canada somewhere. 

I heard a rumor she might come out this way sometime this summer... and if she doesn't, Em and I might have to pack up the car and drive out her way! (I promise, I'd even drive a tiny bit this time!)

I LOVE YOU MOM!!

Grandpa

When I think of my Grandpa, Bud, I think of three things immediately: American Patriotism, Earl the Black Labrador, and poker. Actually, those three things, or what they represent, do a good job of explaining him! Oh, he loved his country, he ADORED his dogs and his family, and ohhhhhh, he loved a bit of mischief. He was the one who taught me how to play poker, playing and betting with REAL QUARTERS! He laughed at my shuffling and taught me how to correctly cut a deck. And I KNOW he cheated sometimes! I once caught him, literally, with cards up his sleeve. And I think he sat on a few cards too. He was an expert on bluffing, both performing it himself, and catching me.

Like my sister is, he was a total green-thumb! He spent hours and hours and hours outside in the Greenhouse watering and pruning, a gift I simply do not have.

I don't know if you, like I do, sometimes have dreams about loved ones who have died, but only realize the dream is impossible when you wake up? Well, (and I haven't shared this widely yet) I had a dream about a year after my grandpa died. It started out as a normal dream, just weird and nonsensical, but suddenly I went through a doorway in the dream, and... there he was! Standing outside. And I was totally aware that it was impossible. He just held out his arms and I ran over and hugged him for a long time, that crazy kind of hug you give someone who you haven't seen in a long, long time, or might never see again. He told me, after using an old nickname, "I love you, you be good but give them hell!" And I woke up. 

I've said on my blog before I'm not a religious person at all. And I don't believe in ghosts like they're portrayed in stories, but I do think that when people die, they leave parts of themselves behind, parts that are hard for us to comprehend. So I wonder if it was just one of those dreams, or if there could have been just a tiny bit of my real Grandpa in that dream.... one more card up his sleeve!

I know this blog was hopelessly cheesy. I'm sorry! Just had to get it out.

Have a good Father's Day this weekend!

Sarah

Write or Wrong

As I write this, I have some breaded shrimp heating in the oven. I'm going to speed-blog so I can be finished with the blog and be able to dig in!

What's on my mind, tonight, is WRITING. Today was my day off and I spent a while working on one of my writing projects. I have 4 different book ideas that I kind of touch on here and there. Actually, that's how I am when I read, too. My sister can't understand it! When I read, I switch from book to book, making a little progress on each, instead of reading and knocking out one book at a time. I think it's because different stories make you feel differently. Some feel best when you're sad, some just taste happy. And depending on my moods, I contribute to my different book ideas when I am in the best mind-set.

I am always hesitant to share a WHOLE lot about the details of plots of my writing projects... I'm not really sure why. I know it's very unlikely anyone would steal an idea! I think part of it is, I need to feel really good and confident about an idea before I share it.

But since we're all friends here, I will disclose this bit, because I think it's good for me to let go a little: of the two books I work on the most, one is about pirates, and one is about time travel.. so they couldn't be much more different! One is written in past tense, the other in present-tense. Although, they are both from the perspective of powerful women! I like stories where women kick ass. And, actually, both of my women characters have traits that are morally-ambiguous. I think it's usually funner writing about bad guys. And that is all I'm willing to disclose at this time, but it's kind of thrilling to tell you even that little bit of info.

I don't recall if I've mentioned it on this blog before, but there is an organization, "Mutual Rescue", that focuses on the true stories of people who rescue animals from shelters or bad environments, and how the animal ends up rescuing them just as much, if not more. Last year, I submitted Otis' and my story! They sent me an email stating that they could only choose four to make a video story about (and there were about 400 submissions) and though my story wasn't among the final four, it made it right to the end. So I have been emailing back and forth with a woman who works there, sharing a lot of details about our story. It seems they are writing and compiling some sort of book, and they intend to put Otie's and my story in a chapter about "grit and perseverance." Anyway, answering the questions they ask about me and Otis, I really give it my all! Otis deserves to be documented in the best, most vivid way possible. And the other day, I got an email back from the MR lady, with a thanks for my latest email, then at the end she put... "This is fantastic, Sarah. I love this insight into her -- and you're a good writer! Keep it up!"

It's a teeny, tiny little thing, but just hearing people tell me that, I feel like I'm on the right road, if that makes any sense at all. It makes me feel good.


There is a quote from the movie, "The Pagemaster," that I love very much:

"Even books have spines."

Firstly, I like it because it reminds me to be brave. But I especially love it because books feel alive to me, and when I write, my characters are as real as could be.

NOW! It's my dinner time!

Happy Wordsday Thursday, guys.

Sarah

SLEEP STUDY

So, right about 15 months ago now, I was in the hospital in Albuquerque, having been flown there by helicopter because of various blood clots in my body, most dangerous probably being the clots in my lungs. I was on constant oxygen for months. Then, I started just using oxygen while I slept at night.

For a more detailed explanation click HERE!

Anyway, I've been trying to get rid of my oxygen FOR GOOD, but my Doc thought it best to do...

THE SLEEP STUDY!!
(insert ominous music here)

So the idea behind a sleep study is (get ready for it!) to sleep while they study you. I'll let that sink in.

Well, I can't tell you why exactly, but this TERRIFIED me. Maybe it's just my pouty inner child whining "No! No! No more hospitals! I won't do it!" but, at least, I was given a little reprieve, knowing that my appointment wasn't until July 2nd.

But then! Tuesday morning I was woken up by a phone call from the Sleep People saying there had been a cancellation and I was moved up to Wednesday evening. 8:30 pm.

PANIC. PANIC. PANIC. PANIC. PANIC. PANIC. PANIC. PANIC. PANIC.

Well, that pretty much messed me up all day Tuesday, even worse on Wednesday... just ask my dad, sister and coworkers.

Last time I saw my doctor and we discussed the Sleep Study, he prescribed me one sleeping pill to take with me. On the bottle was printed "MUST BE DRIVEN HOME BY SOMEONE ELSE" so my dad was drafted.

Wednesday afternoon, I put together a bag of necessities that the Sleep Lady had described over the phone: comfortable sleep wear, any pills I might need, basic toiletries, cat---

Wait! Scratch that last.

Anyway, following my orders, my dad drove me to the hospital just a bit before 8:30, entering through the emergency room. I saw some familiar faces, and that calmed me down a bit. I signed a bit of paper work and waited to be admitted. Turns out, there was another guy there for his own Sleep Study! We (and my dad) were ushered back into our own patient rooms and as soon as my pop found out when to pick me up (5:30 am!) he disappeared back home to watch the Dodgers.

My room was quite spacious! The Sleep Lady asked me when I normally went to bed. I struggled to sound responsible---while lying-- and finally just told her, "I'm a night owl... just about any time will work for me!" This worked out well because the other Sleep Study fellow's bedtime was around 9:30 or 10. So the Sleep Lady went to hook him up first!

Now, when I say "hook up", I mean it. Not oxygen and an I.V. I mean HOOKED UP! When it came to be my turn, the Sleep Lady had me sit in a chair while she affixed me to various wires. Two on my shoulders, two on my chest, two on each leg, and countless ones on my head, face, and neck.Some of the little wires went into my hair line, and I can still feel the sticky glue stuff. Sleep Lady told me the first guy was easy because he was bald. Then she strapped some velcro-strips around my rib cage, then across the top of my chest. Then that jumble of wires got all plugged into various devices.

The Sleep Lady was verrrrrrrrrry nice and friendly and we had some nice conversations! She asked me all about my hair and the necessary upkeep, and when I took my nighttime pills, she remarked, "Wow. I thought I took a lot of pills!" which led to a nice discussion about her bipolar ex-boyfriend.

No one on the phone told me to, but I had the good sense to bring a book with me! Technically, I had a television set that played crackly programs, but I just switched it off and reached for my book.

Even after taking my sleep pill, I struggled to fall asleep. I read for a while before turning off my lights and I lay there, thinking deep thoughts and counting the flashes from the smoke detector in the ceiling. There was a flash every three seconds, and every 32nd flash was longer than the others. I gently tossed and turned, trying not to come unhooked. I missed Otis lying next to me.

And then... it was 5:30! The Sleep Lady came and unhooked me and I packed up all my belongings. There was Dad, waiting for me in the ER waiting room. Once I got home, I passed back out and got a few more hours before work!

I see my doctor tomorrow and I'm sure I'll hear the results. I'm HOPING HOPING HOPING everything is hunky-dory and I can get rid of my oxygen tank... I'll let you know!

Happy Wordsday Thursday!

Sarah