What, you don't agree? Think I'm making this stuff up?? I'll bet you're a city dweller! Big town folk. You think of deer as:
Don't you??!! I thought so. Allow me to show you the true face of deer in this chilling and unaltered, un-doctored sighting!!
Oooooughhh! Gives you the goosebumps, doesn't it? I want to take your on a trip.. a cautionary tale about a woman named... Abigail.
One bright, breezy afternoon in May, Abigail took a trip to her local ACE Hardware store. Business was booming, and Abby initially had a hard time finding a good parking spot! But she did... and a REAL parking spot. Not like those people who park in front of the Rental Yard gates, blocking traffic! The "DO NOT PARK" signs may be faded away, people, but really! Common sense!--But I digress. Abby opened her car door and a rush of oven-temperature heat poured into the vehicle. She grabbed her bag, slammed the door shut behind her, and trudged across the sweltering parking lot towards.. the GREENHOUSE! There was an awning over several racks full of plants, but the shade did nothing to take away from the gorgeous trays of petunias and marigolds and coleus and pansies and begonias. The Greenhouse was overfilling with vegetables and herbs and accent plants. ANOTHER, smaller greenhouse was spilling out rose bushes and hanging baskets and peonies and clematis and all manner of Perennial plants. Abs had her choice! She grabbed an expertly folded cardboard box and wandered around the two greenhouses and past them to the shrubs in the rental yard. The heat made her hair stick to the back of her neck and she tried not to think of swimming pools and glasses of ice-cold Dr. Pepper. But! In the end, she rounded up THREE humongous boxes off plants of all kinds. As she payed for the nursery stock, it struck Abby how ALIVE her plants seemed, almost like adopting a fish or a turtle. Back at home, she donned a dorky but practical hat to save her skin from the burning sun, and crawled around on her hands and knees, planting and weeding and watering. After hours of labor, she finally stood and massaged her aching back as she surveyed her hard work. It really was fabulous! Every color of the rainbow, even the blue color that is so hard to find! The plants, Abigail thought, looked even healthier and happier now that they had been planted and tended to and... loved.
As Abby lay in bed that night, she thought nice, colorful, beautiful thoughts. You know, if she pulled up some more weeds, she could fit some more of those spike plants...! And planing future planting and purchasing, she drifted off to sleep.
It is often when we are at our happiest that tragedy really strikes.
When Abigail woke up the next morning, she was greeted by a grisly, sickening scene. SOMETHING had ripped through her gardens, massacring the armies of petunias, so painstakingly planted in neat rows. It had torn the tops off her marigolds, then disturbingly spat them back out. Some of the flowers had been yanked out to the point of seeing their little baby roots. The gorgeous, blooming rose bush she had purchased was stripped clean of blooms and leaves, just a dead, empty plant.
It turned Abby's heart to ice. She slumped down into her destroyed garden and put her face in her hands, feeling sick and close to tears. THEN!! She noticed the sick, destructive CREEPS had left her a gift.. a chilling reminder that she would never be really alone, that she could never have the garden she dreamed of...
A PILE OF DEER DROPPINGS!!
Oh! Let me tell you, this is not an uncommon occurrence here. The deer who live here live WITHOUT fear! They see our gardens as buffets and they think of our hard work in the garden as we think of food preparation. And believing they won't come into town is a BIG FAT LIE! Saying, "Well, I don't live out in the mountains so I must be safe" is WRONG WRONG WRONG!
And they are so vicious! People say there are plants deer won't eat, but they are mistaken! Even if they do stumble across a plant they don't like, they will rip it out of the ground anyway and spit it out.
Yes, there are deer-repelling products (sold at ACE!) that advertise the ability to keep the vermin at bay, and I've also heard of some other methods: put wind-propelled spinners in your garden or shave off bits of Irish Spring soap! But that is only so effective.
Now that I have, regrettably, shattered your calm, I want to try to reassure you.
You must see it as a circle-of-life deal! If you are a venison fan, think of it is: they eat our flowers, we eat them. Or: they eat our plants, but we use their feces as fertilizer! (I CANNOT ACTUALLY APPROVE OR RECOMMEND THIS! It is thus far pretty untested.. I did a little research and apparently the deer poo is very high in nitrogen.. so there you go)
AND! When you are planting, just picture this:
Also! Consider indoor plants.
Happy Planting!
Sarah
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